days with my father

My Mum died suddenly on September 4th, 2006

After she died, I realized how much she’d been
shielding me from my father’s mental state.

He doesn’t have alzheimers, but he has no short-
term memory,And is often lost.

I took him to my mother’s funeral, and to the
burial, but when we got home, he’d as me every
15-20 minutes where my mother was. I’d explain
carefully that she has died , and we’d been to
her funeral.

This was shocking news to him.

Why had no-one told him?
Why hadn’t I taken him to the funeral?
Why hadn’t he visited her in the hospital?

He had no memory of these events.

After a while, I realized I couldn’t keep telling him
that his wife had died. He didn’t remember, and it
was killing both of us, to re-live her death
constantly.

I decided to tell him she’d gone to Paris, to take
care of her brother, who was sick.

And that’s where she is now.

This site is a journal.

An ongoing record of my father, and of our
relationship.

For whatever days we have left together.




days with my father, de Philip Toledano